How could you?

“How Could You?”

Copyright Jim Willis 2001

When I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh. You called me your child, and despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend. Whenever I was “bad,” you’d shake your finger at me and ask “How could you?” – but then you’d relent, and roll me over for a bellyrub.

My housebreaking took a little longer than expected, because you were terribly busy, but we worked on that together. I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed and listening to your confidences and secret dreams, and I believed that life could not be any more perfect. We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides, stops for ice cream (I only got the cone because “ice cream is bad for dogs,” you said), and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the end of the day.

Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and more time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell in love.

She, now your wife, is not a “dog person” – still I welcomed her into our home, tried to show her affection, and obeyed her. I was happy because you were happy. Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement. I was fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to mother them, too. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them, and I spent most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate. Oh, how I wanted to love them, but I became a “prisoner of love.”

As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears, and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything about them and their touch – because your touch was now so infrequent – and I would have defended them with my life if need be.

I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries and secret dreams, and together we waited for the sound of your car in the driveway. There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog, that you produced a photo of me from your wallet and told them stories about me. These past few years, you just answered “yes” and changed the subject. I had gone from being “your dog” to “just a dog,” and you resented every expenditure on my behalf.

Now, you have a new career opportunity in another city, and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets. You’ve made the right decision for your “family,” but there was a time when I was your only family.

I was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal shelter. It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You filled out the paperwork and said “I know you will find a good home for her.” They shrugged and gave you a pained look. They understand the realities facing a middle-aged dog, even one with “papers.” You had to pry your son’s fingers loose from my collar as he screamed “No, Daddy! Please don’t let them take my dog!” And I worried for him, and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and loyalty, about love and responsibility, and about respect for all life. You gave me a goodbye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely refused to take my collar and leash with you. You had a deadline to meet and now I have one, too.

After you left, the two nice ladies said you probably knew about your upcoming move months ago and made no attempt to find me another good home. They shook their heads and asked “How could you?”

They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow. They feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite days ago. At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was you – that you had changed your mind – that this was all a bad dream...or I hoped it would at least be someone who cared, anyone who might save me. When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention of happy puppies, oblivious to their own fate, I retreated to a far corner and waited.

I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day, and I padded along the aisle after her to a separate room. A blissfully quiet room. She placed me on the table and rubbed my ears, and told me not to worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but there was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had run out of days. As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The burden which she bears weighs heavily on her, and I know that, the same way I knew your every mood.

She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so many years ago. She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein. As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing through my body, I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and murmured “How could you?”

Perhaps because she understood my dogspeak, she said “I’m so sorry.” She hugged me, and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went to a better place, where I wouldn’t be ignored or abused or abandoned, or have to fend for myself – a place of love and light so very different from this earthly place. And with my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her with a thump of my tail that my “How could you?” was not directed at her. It was you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of. I will think of you and wait for you forever.

May everyone in your life continue to show you so much loyalty.

The End

Anote from the author:

If “How Could You?” brought tears to your eyes as you read it, as it did to mine as I wrote it, it is because it is the composite story of the millions of formerly owned pets who die each year in America’s shelters.
Anyone is welcome to distribute the essay for a non-commercial purpose, as long as it is properly attributed with the copyright notice.
Please use it to help educate, on your websites, in newsletters, on animal shelter and vet office bulletin boards. I appreciate receiving copies of newsletters which reprint “How Could You?” or “The Animals’ Savior,” sent to me at the last postal address below.
Tell the public that the decision to add a pet to the family is an important one for life, that animals deserve our love and sensible care, that finding another appropriate home for your animal is your responsibility and any local humane society or animal welfare league can offer you good advice, and that all life is precious. Please do your part to stop the killing, and encourage all spay & neuter campaigns in order to prevent unwanted animals.
If you are a member of an animal welfare organization, I encourage you to participate in the Spay/Neuter Billboard Campaign from ISAR (International Society for Animal Rights); for more information, please visit: http://www.i-s-a-r.comThank you,Jim Willis,Director, The Tiergarten Sanctuary Trust, accredited member of The American Sanctuary Association, and Program Coordinator, International Society for Animal Rights


The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated." - Mahatma Ghandi
" In matters of conscience, the law of majority has no place." - Mahatma Ghandi

Basketball shoes

Fei got her new pair of shoe.

And Terry got his new shoe as well.

Year 2009 Update

New look from Terry~~ Someone insist want to have this haircut again (i think it was his trademark during 3rd year in Uni time?)... So finally Fei cut for him. I think his head is very round and nice in this look. Hehe...

So many hair from him... see some white/gray hair? It is not from him, but from Coco...

We just bought this fighting fish today... due to very simple reason - want to feed him the mosquito that we catch every night. Haha... By the way, his name is "Ah Fatt"... Gong Xi Fatt Choi!!

Always wanted to have this big TangLung at our house. Managed to find this super cheap one from Sibu during CNY. Guess what? It cost only RM20 for both!!

How is Coco doing recently? Well... this is how he looks like... exhausted!! Because Sam got heat for about 2 weeks d...

And this is what they are doing everyday~~

Coco still at "learning" stage, while Sam ignore him most of the time.

Anniversary Celebration

When reaching the entrance...

One of the waiter offering help to capture the photo... but in the end, it is so blurrr

2 stupid engineers were trying to snap the photos using mirror effect but with flash ON...

This one better d... hehe...

Still the same Terry - ordering beef noodle when having buffet style... really full le...

Happy Anniversary~~

Ending photos taken at the outside of restaurant

Small Wu Shi decoration inside the restaurant for CNY...

A gift for him~

Yes, there is a gift for you - for our anniversary one...

Let's start the game and search for this at our house ya... hehe...

Happy 5th Year Anniversary Patohing~~

Good bye..take care

星期五，晚。

我与妃呆在家，准备迎接她最...最佳好友与男友。他们两将在我们的“寒舍“住上两个晚。虽然我与他们相识不久，但我知道妃她那好友对她来说非常重要，既同事，又志同道和，难得谈得来的知交。

晚上十一点，Bit Sean 与 Gin, 带着大包小包的东西，塞满了整车，疲惫的驾凌。他们已从槟岛退了租，星期六将是为他们办的小小饯别烧烤晚会。当然，难免的，家里的三个小瓜(Coco, Lucas & Sam) 高兴得不得了，又跳又叫的，他们的热情，也真的吓着了我们的客人。

星期六，早。

梳洗完毕，出发享用港式早餐，然后就到邻近的Tesco Extra 购买晚上食物和用具。两位女士打算合力“弄“一个烘焙式Cheese Cake, 而我们男士只配担任那些担担抬抬的“苦力”。

购物单包括：

魔鬼鱼，羊角豆，番薯，Satay, 冰其铃，鱼丸，热狗，Otak-otak, 西瓜，玉蜀黍，Cheese Nuggets, 汽水， Cheese Cake 材料，火炭， 冰，纸碗杯，垃圾袋.....

也带回了几个小时的轻松购物回忆。

星期六，晚。

厨房忙得不可开交，当一切准备就绪时，已经是傍晚六时了，Cheese Cake 似模似样，味道还不赖，我把火升了，在家前加装了一盏照明 灯， 也把Coco 它们安置好了。渐渐，妃的同事也陆陆 续续的到了。其中也带来了晚上的主角---鸡翼，羊扒，牛扒 & 色酒。

夜晚就在烧烤声中，谈话声中，吃喝声中，笑骂声中 溜走。 十一时， 烧烤会结束， 大伙儿转战屋内。 唱K, 玩劈酒游戏。Coco , Sam & Lucas 也全程哭闹，它们想与大哥哥姐姐们一同玩乐吧。

深夜时，大家似乎也累了，但也没忘记拍了许多合照。当屋内只剩下我们四个时，我们也赶紧收拾残局。互 道晚安。这时，那三个哭闹宝宝也都呼呼大睡了。

星期日，午。

用过早餐后，也到了正式道别的时候了。在Coco 它们行为上没有感觉到一丝的不舍，我想它们还以为这两个友善亲切的大哥哥姐姐会在近期内回来再和它们大玩一场吧，但我在妃眼里看到了一阵失落。

To Bit Sean and Gin:

The trip to KK was no doubt great, as I got to know both of you. It's memorable yet relaxing experience having you as travel companion.

The BBQ event at our house was a success one(that's what Fei told me, that's what Bit Sean told her too). Having both of you at our house really made our days! 

Thanks for the help during the preparation, and cleaning after the event. 

Thanks for tolerating Coco/Sam's behavior during your visit, not forgetting thanks for walking them early in the morning. I guess they really like you alot. (face licking was the sign)

Thanks for showing me the courage, and making a point that there are a lot more things we can chase after, besides being a "slave" working in MNC.

And to Bit Sean:

Thanks for being Fei's best friends during these 3 years. I listened to Fei talking about the daily events you both went through almost everyday. Hence I can feel this strong sense of absense within Fei once she told me you decide to leave. Well..what can I say.. the friendship between you and Fei touches me. 

We knew you guys mostly won't able to make it to our wedding. But I guess you guys will volunteer to be a host if we decided to visit UK, right?